The Skewed Review is dedicated to commentary that doesn't suck. In the course of commentating, words are often created that you'll find in no dictionary. Skewed Terminology, as it is known in academic circles, has been compared to William Shakespeare's own practice of inventing words. Shakespeare is best known for creating the word "stuff" (and also for writing plays or something). This is the alphabetical list of words and phrases created specifically for The Skewed Review. Have you read something in an article that hasn't shown up here yet? Tweet it, Facebook it or email it, and Matty will clarify the definition and add it to the Skewed Terminology!
Adultism [uh-dul-ti-zum]
noun - A characteristic of people who are too damn serious for their own good.
Authoritard [uh-thor-eh-tard]
noun - One who is in authority and is, you know, totally clueless and/or inept.
Concubinism [con-cue-bine-izm]
noun - The practice of adhering to The Bible when it comes to defining a marriage. Dan Cathy's concubinism totally proves he's pro family.
Dancathyist [dan-kath-ee-ist]
noun - The traits of a person who picks and chooses from a singular text something he or she wants to adhere to, but ignores others from the same text. Mr. Brown loves his handguns, but he despises that his kids can't pray in public schools. His adherence to one Constitutional Amendment and not another is very dancathyist of him.
Eleventeen [e-leh-van-teen]
noun - A number. Yup. That's about it.
Evil Council of Eight
Synonym for the bloodsucking St. George, Utah, mayor, city manager, assistant to the city manager, and five-panel city council.
Fustercluck
noun - An incredibly ridiculous situation where chickens may be involved.
Gilda Hortenstein
She's a frugal and fabulous lady who just wants to save you a few dollars.
High Ordained Chicken Friar
The official Biblical title of Chick-fil-A Chief Operating Officer, Dan Cathy.
iDouche [aye-doosh]
noun - A person who owns four or more Apple products. Look at how cool that iDouche thinks he is. He has an iPod, an iMac, an iPad and an iPhone. iDon'tgiveadamn. (Sent from my iPad)
Marathoning [mare-uh-thon-ing]
verb - Running a marathon. Marathoning today was so hard!
noun - The sport of running marathons. You know what? I'm a hardcore marathoninger. So deal with it!
MattMan
noun - A superhero who doesn't save lives or stop crimes. Actually, he just runs. OK, the jig is up. It's Matty in a cape whenever he runs a race.
MattyChamp
noun - Basically, he's MegaMattMan. Damn. That's a way better name than MattyChamp. Anyway, he's what happens to MattMan when MattMan doesn't give up.
MattyPuss
noun - The pussy version of MattMan. MattyPuss is what happens when MattMan gives up.
Methstation [meth-stay-shun]
noun - Any location where tweekers hang out/sell drugs/buy drugs/are generally scary and gross.
Nolanite [No-luh-nite]
noun - A person who worships Christopher Nolan so much that he/she will defend a Christopher Nolan film, even if said film's merits are extremely underwhelming.
Offecal [oh-fee-kul]
noun - A person or thing that is official but is also quite crappy. Our elected offecals are doing their "duties."
adjective - Authoritatively crappy. That's offecally redonculous.
Paupersheeps [pah-pur-sheeps]
noun - Mindless animals that complain and point accusatory fingers--er, hooves--at people they wish they were like or things they wish they could have. But, in the end, they stay in the herd and never change their ways.
Poppersheeps [pah-pur-sheeps]
noun - A sheep you sniff to get high.
noun - Inflatable sheep after you've had too much fun with them.
Princerams [prinz-ramz]
noun - A paupersheep that stops being a paupersheep and instead takes action to become a fabulous princeram.
Schürman Von Hitlerhäusen
He's a sometimes confused but often pretentious German tourist and blogger. He gets his knowledge from reality TV, and he sometimes gets to interview celebrities, too!
Small Business Abortion Clinic (SBAC)
Synonym for the bloodsucking baby raping St. George, Utah, City Council
Smellika Bieber [smeh-like-uh-bee-ver]
noun - The original female name of a famous pop star before his sexual reassignment to become an almost-boy.
Snarkasm [snar-ka-zim]
noun - Sarcasm times infinity. His snarkasm is so abundant that his compliments are completely indiscernible from his insults.
Snarkolepsy [snar-ko-lep-see]
verb - The act of being snarky accidentally. My snarkolepsy causes me to insult authority figures randomly, and therefore I cannot retain any sort of employment.
Straight From the Whorse's Mouth
Used when quoting someone who is basically the mouthpiece of some higher entity. Someone's bitch speaking for him/her. The assistant to the city manager said all citizens should just shut up and follow orders. You heard it straight from the whorese's mouth.
UltimateMattManWinOrDieGladiatorCrimeFighter
noun - He's the foulmouthed racer who overcomes adversity through swearing. UltimateMattManWinOrDieGladiatorCrimeFighter is to regular old MattMan like Jean-Paul Valley's Azrael was to Bruce Wayne's Batman. If you don't read comics, then guess what? F*#@ you because you're not going to get that reference! Also, I apologize for just swearing and acting like you, the reader, doesn't matter. That was not me. That was UltimateMattManWinOrDieGladiatorCrimeFighter.
WAG [noun]
Acronym for "Washington (County) Animal Gurus." In order for the acronym to work, the word "county" must be omitted. But it's referring to southern Utah's Washington County. Not, you know, the state. In any event, it's the group of people who love their pets but are sick and tired of the county telling them they can't play with their pets outside.
Whorse [hors]
noun - A creature that can be ridden and is also a whore. Note: All things that can be ridden are not whores, but all whores can be ridden.
www.doubleyoudoubleyoudoublyoudotcom.com
A popular website in the '90s that had to be shut down because the CEO was sleeping with his intern.
